What's a Life without Love? - The Gamer's Girl
by ThatGirlGoogle
Summary: Rated M for themes of death and suicide. I used Sora-M-Jigen's story, 'Break The Walls' as a structure for this so thanks for the inspiration, Sora :) After this, go and read 'Break The Walls', it's brilliant! **Re-uploaded for major changes** (Sorry again, Sora!)


***Tekra POV***

I continued to sit in silence, still completely shocked by Olga's confession. All these terrible thoughts were buzzing in my head about Mark. _He hates you. _My inner voice was taking over me, drowning out all my brain and heart were saying. _He'll never want you back. You can't do without him so you're hopeless. What's the point in your existance again? You may as well jump._ I was so vulnerable, I actually believed what the voice was saying.

'That's it. I've had it.' I whimpered to myself. As I sat down at the dressing table, I tore a blank page out from my note book and placed it on the table in front of me. Pulling a pen from my pocket and beginning to write on the piece of paper, I began crying. I would never see my friends, my family, Mark, ever again. But I didn't care. Mark would never want to see me again anyway. What was the use in trying to fix this unbearable pain I felt without him? It was better to just end it all.

I spent a good 20 minutes writing the note, saying my final goodbyes and why I was doing it. I was happy with it. Still crying, I placed it in the gap between the front door and the floor. I looked around the room one last time before slowly walking out onto the balcony.

I placed my hands on the railings and peered over. I looked down at the bustling street below and realized that I was 5 storeys up. This was it. This was how it was going to end. I sat on the railings and put my legs over the edge and sat there, looking down. This was it. I was going to jump.

***Mark POV***

I burst into the hotel and ran as fast as I could to the reception desk. I leaned on it breathlessly before asking the receptionist demandingly 'What room is Tekra Megumi staying in?' 'I beg your pardon, sir?' I had no patience, I just wanted to get to her. 'TEKRA MEGUMI! WHAT ROOM IS SHE IN?' I snapped as the receptionist looked shocked. She was silent for a while before saying 'I'll look now.' She typed something into her computer before stating 'Miss Tekra Megumi is in room 432 on the fifth floor. Why do yo-' 'THANK YOU!' I shouted as I quickly darted from the desk and to the stairs.

I bolted up the flights of stairs all the way to the fifth floor, never once stopping. I ran down the corridor until I eventually found room 432. I knocked furiously on it, shouting 'Tekra? Its me. I'm sorry. Please let me in!' There was no answer.

Then, I saw a piece of paper sticking out from under the door. I took it and, out of curiosity, I read it. As I read it my blood ran cold and I had to prop myself against the door to stop myself from falling to the floor.

_Dear whoever finds this,_

_I ask you to please get in touch with my family and tell them what happened to me and pass on these messages to these people:_

_My aunt, Rina Meiharu - Thank you so much for everything Aunt Rina. I love you dearly but I can't take this pain any more. I can't cope. This is what's best for me seeing I have no purpose in this world. I love you so much and please, break it gently to the kids. I don't want to make them sad. I'll be with Mom and Dad now so don't worry. I love you so much. _

_My YouTube subscribers - Hey guys. This is the last you'll hear from me. Thank you all for everything you've done for me in the past. I can't help but feel I've let you all down but this is for the best. I can't take the pain any more. Please though, I beg you, if you feel like I do, don't follow me. You have people who love you including myself. I love you all infinite. Thank you. Thank you all so much._

_Finally, Mark Fischbach - Mark, I'm sorry that I didn't believe you. I know the truth now and I feel so bad. You probably hate me and I can't take that pain. I'm better off dead. I will haunt Olga forever for what she's done to us. Don't feel guilty, it's my fault. I still love you so much. I love you to the moon and back. Thank you. For everything you've ever done for me. Thanks for being there. I love you._

_Thank you. If you're reading this I've probably jumped. Thank you for your time._

_Regards,_

_Tekra Megumi_

'N...no.' I whispered to myself, consumed with disbelief and shock. My girl was going to jump. Then, scared for Tekra's life I forced the door to her room open and screamed 'TEKRA!' I was so terrified but then, I saw her sitting on the edge of the balcony, looking ready to jump. 'TEKRA, DON'T!' I yelled as I began running towards the balcony.

As I got to the balcony though, she leaned forward and began falling. I leaned over the side to try and catch her. I leaned over the edge, almost falling myself and furiously tryied to grip her. I thought it was hopeless, I was already too late but then I felt my hand clench around something. I had managed to grab her left arm with both hands and held her up with all the strength I had.

***Tekra POV***

I had my eyes shut when suddenly, I stopped falling. _What?_ I felt something gripping my arm tightly as I saw a crowd of people below looking up at me. I looked up to see what was grabbing me. _Mark? _He pulled my up onto the balcony, his face going red with the triumph of pulling my weight onto the balcony.

I could hardly believe it. Mark was here. As I fell onto the floor with a thud, he kneeled in front of me. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly against him, pulling me into his chest. Not wanting to ruin his shirt, I pressed my face into my palms as he embraced me tightly. "I thought I'd lost you." His soft, scared voice slid its way through my sobs as I shook your head. Understanding, he nodded and kissed my forehead.

"It's okay, Tekra. Don't cry. I'm here now." I couldn't stop sobbing into his arms. I couldn't believe what I had just tried... how could I have been so dumb? I would've ruined not only mine, but my friend's and families by going through with what I'd tried. Suicide was no the answer but confrontation and apology was. I still couldn't believe Mark was here. Just the sound of his deep, gentle voice calmed me down and him just being with me, holding me close to him was enough to make me feel what I remembered was happiness once again. "I missed you so much!" He said as he continued to hold me.

I broke down in tears once again. _He'd missed me..._ After all this time I'd spent thinking he hated me... he missed me. In between my sobs, I managed to say "I m-missed you too." I couldn't let go of him then. I couldn't let go of his sweet smile, kind words and strong frame ever again. Mark was all I wanted right now. If someone offered me all the money in the world right now to make me happy, I'd just say "No. All I want is my Mark".

"Y-you... don't hate me?" I asked, looking up at him. He gave me a sympathetic expression. "Of course not. Don't be silly." "B-but I though you were lying. This is all HER fault!" I blubbered as I began crying once again. I felt his embrace tighten on me again as he soothed "I will NEVER hate you and you're right, it IS Olga's fault. But it's OK... she's not gonna be coming near us ever again."

***Mark POV***

It broke my heart to see her in such a way. I felt terrible. "M-Mark? If I would've j-jumped and you d-didn't get here on time, would you m-miss me?" I looked at her with a worried look. _Oh god, she thinks I hated her, doesn't she? _I felt myself getting upset and felt tears pricking my eyes. "Tek... of course I'd miss you. God, I don't know what I'd DO without you!" My voice cracked as I said that and, as comfort to both her and myself, I pulled her even closer to me. I could feel her face against my neck and I could feel that her cheeks were wet with tears. Then, a tear fell down my cheek as I thought of a life without her. _No... it wouldn't be life. Who would make me smile when I felt like I was about to cry? Who could keep me inspired when I felt I was a failure? Who would love me a way she could? _The answer was simple. No-one.

"Tekra... listen to me. I love you so so so much. Nothing could ever change that for me. You are worth more than everything this world has to offer. You're my light in the darkness. It wouldn't be life without you in it." She continued to sob as I released my embrace on her and put my hand under her chin so that she was looking at me.

***Tekra POV***

As I looked up into his beautiful brown eyes, I saw all the emotions he had felt in the past month. The tear stains on his face told me he had been depressed and so did the dark circles under his eyes. I could see in his eyes that he was upset by what I'd tried and I could understand. _How selfish am I?_ I thought to myself. I must've caused him so much pain, he must've felt the same way I had this past month. But in a way, looking into his eyes once again after all this time made me feel relieved. Mark's kind eyes reminded me that I have something to live for, they made the pain I'd felt for so long fade away. Mark's eyes almost seemed like they were destroying the demons which infested my mind and instead filled my mind with the good memories we had together.

Mark gave me a brief smile before he whispered "OK?" I nodded and finally stopped crying. "Yeah. Yeah, Mark. I'm OK now. " I said, my throat hurting from crying so much. I finally felt an air of peace overwhelm me and I felt like I used to again. It was only then I realised how tired I was. I hadn't slept in weeks!

"Thank you for saving me... again." I breathed as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "No need to thank me. I'd do ANYTHING to save you. I haven't been the same without you, yanno." Mark smiled as he stroked my cheek. I instantly moved my cheek closer to his hand, savouring his touch that I'd so desperately missed. "Will you take me back?" I asked, hoping he would. I still loved him like crazy and no one would ever change that. A smile shot across Mark's face as he replied. "Of course, I love you, Tekra. I love you more than anything! Even Cheese-It's, and you know how much I love Cheese-It's!" That made me smile and release a quick giggle. "God, I missed that laugh." He said as he helped me to my feet, my knees still slightly weak from shock. I almost fell over put Mark caught me. "Whoa! I got ya!" He exclaimed as he grabbed my arm once again and pulled me to my feet. _What a hero. _

***Mark POV***

I had her back at last! I felt whole again and I felt my happiness return once again. She was a part of me and to lose her would be losing a large part of myself. If she'd jumped and she'd... I wouldn't have been able to cope. She was all I needed to be happy. Tekra's smile always lit up the room and her laugh made me happy no matter how I felt. But I noticed cuts on her arms... she must've been cutting herself. I wish I could just heal her right now but I knew it wouldn't be that easy. She'd need as much love and comfort as I could give and more.

"Oh god, I just realized I haven't slept in a long time. I couldn't sleep at night knowing we were apart." Announced Tekra, her voice still sounding a little hoarse from crying. "I can tell. I've hardly slept myself. I've been a wreck." I tried to chuckle at myself but I wasn't really convincing anyone. "C'mon. Let's get your stuff and go home. Whaddya say?" Tekra smiled and added "Yeah... I'd love that." I put my arm around her, smiling as she began collecting her stuff.

After we'd both worked together to collect her things, I knew a way to cheer her up. "I'm a goofy goober, yeah! You're a goofy goober, yeah! We're all goofy goobers, yeah! Goooofy goofy goofy goofy goobers!" I sang as I did a silly dance. Instantly, Tekra burst out laughing as she giggled "What the heck are you doing?" "Making you laugh." I replied, also laughing along with her.

Tekra slowly approached me and leaned her face closer to mine. I did not hesitate. I placed my lips on hers and we kissed for the first time in what felt like forever. It was our first kiss all over again. Hesitatingly, we moved away from each other."Got everything?" I asked as we left, closing the hotel room door behind us. "Yeah. Let's go home."

As we walked towards the elevators, I gently tapped her hand with mine. She took it and our fingers intertwined. I was happy again. She was happy again. I wasn't just a man anymore. When I had her, I became the real Mark. I became a different person. I had my love back. I had my everything. I had my Tekra.

***Tekra POV***

Upon arriving the hotel lobby, two police officers approached me, one male, one female. "Excuse me, ma'am, but are you Tekra Megumi who's staying in room 432?" Asked the female officer. "Yes, I am." "Well, we would just like to ask if you require any further assistance. Could we possibly refer you to a mental health specialist?" I quickly looked at Mark before replying. "No. No thank you. I'm sure my boyfriend here will take care of me." The female officer nodded, followed by the male officer who handed Mark a business card. "Good job, buddy. If you require any sort of therapy or advice, just call this number. Otherwise, keep a good eye on your girl." Added the male officer, patting Mark on the shoulder. "Alright. Thank you, officer." The officers left the lobby, leaving Mark and I alone.

I felt bad for Mark. I had put him through hell tonight yet he still took me back. This was the Mark I loved. "I'm sorry about what happened then, Mark." I said as we began to walk to the hotel's exit. "Don't apologize at all. I'm just glad you're OK. That's all that matters." I exchanged a smile with him as we went through the automatic doors and out into the parking lot. After getting to Mark's car, one of almost hundreds of cars in the parking lot, we both loaded my stuff into the trunk of his car.

We got into the car, me in the passenger seat and him at the wheel, and began to drive home. By now, it was the early hours of the morning and the Los Angeles streets were still busy, but not as busy as they were during the day at all. Mark and I didn't speak the whole way, probably because we were trying to get over the shock of the situation.

I began to drift off to sleep. It had been a long time since I had last slept and I forgot how relaxing just shutting my eyes and drifting off to sleep was. In almost a matter of seconds, I had fallen into the comforting arms of sleep. Man, I hadn't felt this relaxed in a LONG time!

***Mark POV***

Finally, we had arrived home. I got out of the car and went to the trunk to get Tek's things. I picked up a duffel bag before saying "You got one, Te-" I turned around to see that Tekra wasn't there. I frowned to myself and went to look in the passenger side of the car. Upon opening the door, my frown disappeared and faded into a small smile. She had fallen asleep. I knew I couldn't leave her in the car for the rest of the night so I had to wake her up. I put the bag down on the floor before I nudged her gently. "Tekra?" No response. She looked so peaceful as she slept and I knew she hadn't slept in a long time so I didn't have the heart to wake her.

I went back to the trunk and put the bag back in, closing the door quietly before returning to the car's passenger side. Carefully, I unbuckled Tekra and hoisted her into my arms, her head rested on my shoulder. I closed the car door with my foot before locking it and heading into the apartment block. As I walked with her in my arms, I remembered the day we first started dating and I carried her into the apartment just like this. Her skin against mine had the same softness as before and she was still beautiful. I was actually so glad to have her back in my arms. I missed her so much and to think that I had nearly lost her that night was just heartbreaking. I could not live without her.

I opened the door to my unlocked apartment and immediately headed up to the bedroom. I sat on the bed with Tekra still in my arms and looked at her. She was still sleeping soundly. As I gently stroked her face with my thumb, she smiled in her sleep which in turn made me smile too. I got up again with Tekra still in my arms and pulled the duvet on the bed all the way back. Slowly and carefully, I placed her on the bed, ensuring that she was in a comfortable position. I pulled the duvet over her before kneeling next to her.

As I watched her sleeping, I lay my head next to hers and kissed her on the forehead. I brushed the hair out of her face and moved my face slightly closer to hers. "I missed you so much, Tek. I love you more than anything in this entire world, don't you ever forget that." I whispered. I wasn't sure if she could hear me but it was nice talking to her. I closed my eyes for a mere second but I must've fallen asleep.

***Tekra POV***

I woke up and I was lying in my old bed in Mark and I's apartment. _How the heck had I got here? _I figured Mark must've put me here after we got home last night. I turned and looked at the clock on the bedside table. 4:38 am. I rolled over to see what was beside me. Mark, sleeping soundly. I was about to roll back over and go back to sleep but I heard the buzzer for the apartment sounding.

Mark raised from his sleep and I got up to go and answer it. "Don't worry, Mark. I'll get it." I quickly threw on my dressing gown and ran down the stairs to the buzzer system. I pressed the button to answer… but I couldn't press it. My hand just seemed to pass through it. I tried it again. Same result. I heard Mark coming and said "I think the buzzer's broken." I got out of the way so he could try. It worked for him straight away. "Hello?" grunted Mark, still sounding sleepy. "Is this the residence of Mr. Mark Edward Fischbach?" asked the visitor. "Yes it is. Who's this?" "Officer Ryan Kayde and Officer Gina Austins from the Los Angeles Police Department. May we come in?" _Why the heck were the cops at our house?_ Mark looked as confused as I did. "Of course. Come on in." He pressed the button to let them in and we stood waiting for a few minutes.

There was finally a knock on the door. I went to answer it but again, I could not open it but Mark could on the first try. The door opened and standing in the hallway was one male officer and one female officer. They looked bleak. "Mark Fischbach?" "Yes?" There was a brief silence before the male officer continued. "Is it correct that you had a partner by the name of Tekra Megumi?" "Yes. Why do you ask?" Slowly, both officers took off their hats and held them down in front of them. A look of worry shot over Mark's face. "Mr. Fischbach, this is the hardest part of our day. I'm afraid your girlfriend… has committed suicide. She has been transported to the morgue of the King Drew Medical Centre in Huntington Park and we would like you to identify her body." _What? But… I'm right here! Could they not see me? _

Mark went pale and slowly placed his hands shakily over his mouth. Slowly, he melted to his knees and began crying hysterically. I ran to his side to comfort him and said "Mark, I'm right here! I'm not dead!" He didn't listen and just continued to cry hysterically into his hands. "Mr. Fischbach, I know this must be hard but we really must get going." He managed to get to his feet and speak to the officers after a while. "A-alright. Gimme… gimme 5 minutes." He blubbered.

I stood in front of the officers, utterly angry that they had lied to Mark about my death. I was obviously seen now! "Hey! You can't say that! I'M Tekra Megumi! I'm very much alive!" They completely ignored me as if they couldn't even hear me or see me. _Why could no one see me?!_

Mark began walking towards the kitchen and I followed. I thought he was off to pick up his glasses and put a coat on but he walked straight past both and into the kitchen. "Mark! I'm right here! Can't you see me?!" He ignored me so I reached out to tap him on the shoulder. As I did, my hand passed straight through him. _What the heck is going on?! _

Upon arriving in the kitchen, he went to the cutlery drawer. He looked around inside for a few seconds before picking up a large kitchen knife. Analyzing it, he turned it and ran his finger up and down the blade which caused his finger to bleed. "M-Mark…? What are you doing?" I asked, now getting quite worried. Mark held the handle in his right hand, raising the blade up to his neck, the point against his throat. "Mark, stop it! You're scaring me!" He gulped before saying beneath his breath "I can't live without her. I may as well join her." More tears fell down his cheek before he did the unbelievable.

He plunged the knife into his neck, causing him to do a choking sound. "MARK!" I screamed as blood began gushing out of his neck. He clutched the handle of the knife with one hand and his throat with the other. Quickly, he fell to the floor, spluttering and gagging as the knife remained in his neck, the point just visible out of the back of his neck. As he lay on his side, gasping and gargling, I followed him down. "MARK! OH GOD, STAY WITH ME, MARK! OFFICERS, HEL ME!" I attempted to remove the knife from his neck but my hands passed through again. I was completely powerless. I was like a mere ghost. _Wait… was I a ghost? Was I really dead?_

By now, Mark had lost a lot of blood, which was now pouring out from his mouth. After a few more gasps and splutters, he suddenly became deathly quiet. His chest had stopped moving and his eyes had rolled to the back of his head. "No… no…" I tried to touch him but again, my hands passed through. I placed two fingers on his wrist to check for a pulse. None. I began to scream. "MARK! GOD PLEASE NO! MARK, PLEASE! DON'T DIE! I'M ALIVE, MARK! I'M ALIVE! OH GOD, NO! MAAAAAAAAARK?!"

***Mark POV***

I was suddenly awakened by a blood-curdling scream. I sat up straight and realized it was Tekra who was screaming in her sleep. I began shaking her to try and wake her up. "Tekra! Baby, wake up! You're having a bad dream!" Her eyes shot open and she stopped screaming. She bolted upright, her breathing fast and heavy and tears in her eyes. I climbed onto the bed next to her. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here." I soothed as I pulled her close to me. "M-Mark? You're OK? You can see me?" She panted. "Of course I can see you! And I'm just fine!" Tekra began to cry as she buried her head in my shoulder. "I had a terrible dream, Mark. Some cops came to the apartment and told you I'd killed myself. Then you went to kill yourself and I couldn't stop you because no-one could see me." She wept. I immediately was sorrowed by this. I didn't want to see my girl like this. "Aw, Tek. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be right here." I didn't know how to calm her down until I had an idea. "Tell ya what? How about we go and watch Wizard of Oz, huh? I know how much you love it!" I soothed as I loosened my grip on her.

Tekra raised her head and I wiped away her tears. "That sound good to you?" I asked as she stopped crying. "Yeah… I'd like that." She replied as she adjusted her hair. "I love you so much, Markimoo. I don't know what I'd do without you." "I love you even more, I bet!" We kissed lovingly before I took Tekra's hand and led her off the bed. "Weeee're…. off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz!" I sang jokingly as I led Tekra out of the bedroom. She instantly smiled before bursting into laughter as I continued to sing in a silly, high-pitched voice.

We began watching the movie with Tekra snuggled into my side. This is what I'd longed for. To be holding her like this again, to be with her again like this is what I'd longed for when we were apart. I was so glad I had Tekra back in my life because it wasn't really life without her in it. Now I was determined to protect her and be with her whenever I could. I could not afford to lose my beautiful, amazing, funny girlfriend again. I could not afford to lose such a precious thing as Tekra. I loved her so much. I loved her infinite.


End file.
